Isn't life strange? It goes in circles. I read a book once of an ancient culture, who said life was many circles and spirals. Circles within circles. I didn't understand it until I looked back. So often, it is our beginnings that we end at.

Aaron and I broke up 2 weeks ago. Ha, Irony, I didn't know what to do with myself, so I planned my whole life, 10 years mapped out. Then I realised the guy I'd wanted for years, wasn't the guy of my dreams. Strike One. Then I ruined things by sleeping with some guy I didn't want a relationship with. So much for no sex before marriage. Strike Two. Then I found Aaron, and despite the fact that he was everything I didn't want right then... I found that he was everything I wanted. We dated, but he'd rushed into it and broke up with me. We got back together, but the same thing happened for the same reasons. The next day I confirmed my pregnancy and told him about it. Back together again. 2 weeks ago, he confessed the truth. Once again, and for the final time, he'd realised what I'd noticed for weeks. His ex-girlfriend was the one he'd loved. Not me. He wanted the baby, but ultimately, he wanted to be with his ex. So he'd knocked me up, and then left me. Strike Three. And now I'm out of options. Because Strike Three totally bowled me over and with injuries like these, I'll never recover the same.

New plan: Raising a baby as a single mum at 19 with no money saved, living off the child support of a guy who still has to ask me for money to afford to live despite the fact that he is dating someone else. Back to square one, and I'm stuck looking at a bleak future and thinking:

What the hell am I going to do now?